No, unfortunately I can’t talk to your friend about his or her diet for you. Here’s why.

I’ve become known for being a straight talker and for not getting on board with any restrictive nonsense, and for helping people to see the results they’ve been looking for by ditching whatever misguided approaches to dieting they’ve been struggling with, and by not being afraid to fuel up appropriately to perform at training and see the changes in body condition that go along with that improvement in athletic performance.

Diets that teach people to be afraid of eating certain types of foods, or eating at all for that matter, are a load of garbage. Diets that force people into strange, restrictive or inconvenient eating habits to “trick the body into burning fat” are a crock as well. Very simply put, you’re either consuming the appropriate amount for great results within a suitable goal weight range, or you aint. If you’re trying really hard and still not seeing results, the problem might not be that you are eating too much. In my experience, very often the problem is due to trying to get by on too little.

That’s my message and I’m proud to say it has helped a lot of people so far.

Because of this, I tend to get a lot of requests to add someone’s friend and talk some sense into them, or to join some low carb or “clean eating” group where they’re all giving each other terrible, disordered advice and get in amongst it and straighten them all out.

No. Unfortunately I just can’t.

I’ll explain why. Actually, multiple reasons.

I work with a handful of locals and a few dozen people online from all around the world at any one time. People who I know are going to appreciate and act on the advice that I give them, are going to see great results, and are going to be very happy that they did so.

Or I should say, people who already are doing all of that.

Now, my people know they can hit me up for guidance or advice whenever they need to. A lot of the time it is enough for them just to check in to the mandatory report posts in the private support group to say “yep. Doing well, feeling good, making progress”. Other times they might want to message me in private to discuss some issue. Sometimes I ask them to check in with me in private if I feel we’re due for a review and perhaps adjustment to the program, or if my intuition tells me something is up that they haven’t told me about yet.

It’s not really fair on my paying clients to ask me to give the same kind of one on one time to somebody else who isn’t part of the program. It isn’t really fair on me either, to ask me to give that time and make the emotional investment in the well being of a person who hasn’t actually decided in advance that they’re going to act on the advice that I give them.

As to online communities or groups with dozens, or hundreds, or thousands of people all trying to do things a certain way… I can’t just show up and start arguing that they’re doing it all wrong and expect that to go down well. As much as I do have the ability to use tact when it is called for, there’s a lot of guilt and shame tied into certain approaches to dieting, where the approach is difficult and people are made to feel like a failure for not being able to adhere to all of the restrictions all of the time. I’m told a lot of the communities can be quite nasty and judgemental as well, so there’s an element of denialism too, where people aren’t going to admit that they’re struggling or be receptive to hearing about a different approach. Also, what am I going to do? Just show up and start posting sales pitches like some low life spammer?

Being receptive to the message is the real issue. People need to come to me ready to change, rather than me going to them to talk them out of something they’ve decided is their best or only option, however misguided that decision may have been. They need to come to me ready to see results where they haven’t seen them before, by letting go of all the shit and all the bad information that has been holding them back. However, they need to come ready to actually take the necessary action as well. They need to be prepared to set their meal schedule, know their targets, and put together a plan to meet those targets with the choice of foods that most appeals to them. And they need to hit the gym following the training program that I’ll give them.

If they haven’t already decided to do that, how can I help them?

If I was a great sales person maybe I could coax or coerce them into signing up for my program, even if they’re not really ready for it. That’s not what I’m about though. I count on the idea that people are going to follow my page, take all the information that I constantly put out and make an informed decision.

I talk about a lot of the same things, over and over again. If you follow an effective training program with some level of consistency, results come down to meeting appropriate macronutrition intake. Nothing else. Not eating clean, not going without your favourites, not proving you’re a good enough person or whatever other nonsense people are selling. Total energy intake and effective training. At some point, that’s going to get through to people and they’re going to say “he’s right, I can see it working for other people. I want to do this too and I want to start feeling good about myself and my progress, instead of how I’ve felt up until now getting nowhere with all this nonsense”. And when that happens, those people come in not merely knowing what’s going to be required of them, but actually optimistic and enthusiastic about getting stuck into it as well.

That’s what I need. Not people I can talk into it with some kind of sales tactic, but people who are kicking down the door wanting in to the program to start taking what they damn well deserve out of life.

Here’s what you can do though. I can’t give one on one coaching time to people who aren’t on my program, but I do pump out a tremendous amount of free content that people often find very helpful. Also I share a lot of other quality information from the people who I like to learn from. Have your friend follow my page, or just share some of my posts or articles. The best option though? Have your friend register for the free information program and get the real, straight talk backed by science on what really is and is not important when trying to get into shape.

The subscription box should be just there on the right of screen, a little way up.

Author: davehpt

I'm DaveHPT, Maybe you've heard of me? Musician, rock star and recording artist. Published author. Former security industry professional. Personal Trainer, Online Coach and the INNOVATOR in Sports Nutrition.

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