Not “trying to help people” in the sense of trying to force your advice or opinions onto people who aren’t interested, which is annoying as hell. I’m talking more about resentment that something I write might help some other people, but doesn’t help you specifically. I get… well, not “a lot” but I get the occasional comment or repost on something I write that’s all pissed off and hateful because the person has a different problem and what’s in this article doesn’t apply to them. Screw all the other people though right?
Let’s address some shit here that needs to be addressed.
1. Flexible dieting is the best approach for about 90% of people.
For a lot of the people I coach, and the people the majority of my writing is aimed at, the very LAST thing they need is a more restrictive approach. Some are in recovery from, or susceptible to eating disorders. Some are former yo-yo dieters. I myself was a “junk food vegetarian” for about 28 years and therefore I write from the point of view of someone for whom being told “just eat clean” is about as helpful as being told “just cheer up” if you have depression or “try to relax” if you suffer from anxiety.
So, people need a flexible approach they can make work with the food choices that they are able to work with. Even if you don’t have any of those issues, no one needs to be trying to “starve themselves thin”.
SO I write this stuff up to help those people who up until now didn’t realise this was even an option and a LOT of people write in to tell me this stuff has helped them turn their life around and they’re so much happier and making great progress towards their goal, and it is all happening so easily for the first time ever. That’s only about 90% of people though, and unfortunately for the other maybe 1 in 10 people out there, you might need more specialised dietary advice due to a diagnosed medical condition. That’s something that is a little bit outside of what I’m able to help with, but don’t resent me for trying to help the majority of people with what I do know.
2. Contrary to politically correct opinion; there IS such thing as “normal size” for human beings.
With that being said though, there’s no reason why you have to be “normal” if you don’t want to be. Personally I am about 11kg above normal size right now, and my long term goal is more like 15 – 20kg above normal. Why? Because I decided that’s what I want, and if anyone doesn’t like it they can mind their own damn business.
Now if you’re a larger than normal person and are quite happy being that way, GOOD, and if people try to tell you otherwise they can go fuck themselves. I’ll step in myself and tell ’em so, if you like. But you know what? There’s a lot of other people out there that aren’t happy with their size and shape… and just like I talked about above, lecturing them about “body acceptance” is about as helpful as telling a depressed person to cheer up. Hell they’re quite likely already depressed as well.
So, overweight people who aren’t happy and wish they could change need to be reminded, if all you want to be is “normal sized” there’s nothing so unlikely or unreasonable about that goal. Even more crucially, people who are normal sized already but still aren’t happy with their shape need to realise they don’t need to diet and lose weight, they need to fuel up and train productively towards their goal body. The people who are actually underweight, not happy and still trying to lose more weight… there’s something else going on that we need to get to the bottom of, but getting fuelled up and increasing back up to a healthy, normal body weight has got to be a priority.
All of those people need a little help or a lot in getting back into the direction that is going to make them happier, and what they need is a reason to believe that they actually can be successful as long as they adopt a sensible, healthy approach. It may not apply to you if you’re already happy, confident and proud of whatever your body type currently is, but don’t resent me for trying to help the people who just want to feel the way you do now.
3. Being white, straight and male doesn’t change any of the above.
I don’t really care if you’re stupid enough to disagree with me just because you’re racist and sexist (yes, it still counts as racist and sexist if you only hate white males)… but if I write something that could really help someone, and you convince them they shouldn’t listen to it on those grounds… who’s the bad person here? Me or you?